Happiness does not depend on what negative thoughts you have but rather how you mange those negative thoughts. You know how everything begins with one single negative thought that grows slowly to take over your mind, extending its threatening reach like a dark rain cloud on a bright and sunny day. As surprisingly as it might sound, this phenomenon is extremely common.
Imagine the scene. You woke up early, watching the first rays of sunlight enter the bedroom and cast friendly shadows on the wall. It’s a sunny day, even though the weather is cold outside. Thankfully you don’t mind the cold; you can dress for it, and you will be fine. You head to the bathroom to get ready, and that’s where you first notice it. Your hair.
Today, it just doesn’t want to cooperate. Despite your best efforts and the most reliable products in your beauty cabinet, nothing can help. Your hair simply has a mind of its own at the moment. Reluctantly, you secure it in a ponytail, trying to contain its boisterousness for the day. While it works, it wasn’t the look you were going for. But, you don’t have time to worry about it; you need to get dressed and get doing.
You dress up, rapidly but you can’t take your eyes off your hair as you check in the mirror. You worry. Does the ponytail give you an unfinished look? Does it feel less professional than you usually look like?
You leave the house, having just had a cup of tea. There was no time for breakfast; you had to check your hair again. On your way to work, you can’t help but fear the eyes of the people around you; you imagine that everyone is pointing at your ponytail and laughing at you. As a result, you spend the entire day stuck in a self-conscious and awkward position, worried that your hair might affect what your co-workers think of your skills.
What should be an anecdotal issue only – a bad hair day – takes enormous proportions as you struggle to accept it. The more you feed the negative thoughts, the more they grow. It affects your self-worth, your relationships, your self-confidence, your mood, and your overall happiness. It’s time to design anti-negativity strategies.
Negative thoughts happen naturally
The main problem that we all have about negative thoughts is that they seem to be permanently in the background of our minds. But, you shouldn’t let this worry you. Indeed, harboring negative ideas and considering the worst case scenario are not only healthy behaviors – in moderation – but they are also part of the evolution of humankind.
While the dark ideas can lead to emotions you don’t want to feel, from fear to anger, they are in fact inherent to our survival. Indeed, according to a study by Robert W. Schrauf, the global population experiences 50% of negative thoughts, 30% positive and 20% neutral. As a civilization, we are predisposed to think negatively, but there’s a deeper meaning behind this finding. Namely; adverse emotions indicate an issue, which you need to sort out to protect yourself or others.
In other words, your negative thoughts are not there to drag you down. They come from a purposeful place; they nudge you in the best direction to make things right.
You need to catch yourself and stop the circle
Yet, here they are, the negative thoughts that slowly but surely make you feel bad about yourself. What does this happen when you could just act upon the warning and correct the issue? There is no way around it.
Negative thoughts work as a notification system, to make you aware that something has gone wrong. However, the notification system can open the door to overwhelming emotions, such as fear, disappointment, anxiety, anger, and self-depreciation. These emotions are so powerful that they can make you forget the underlying issue, aka the small mistake in a work project or the bad hair day.
Additionally, it’s fair to say that just because you’ve been made aware of a problem, it doesn’t mean that you can solve it. However, if you don’t stop the harmful emotions from spinning in your mind, you are going to face extreme difficulties. There is no wonder recipe against negativity, here. You need to become aware of the way your thoughts generate feelings if you want to break free from the vicious circle.
Read More: 15 Easy Ways to Stay Positive
Get rid of your energy toxins
Admittedly, breaking free from a cycle of negativity is more easily said than done. Indeed, a negative thought rarely comes alone. It can be accompanied by energy vampires, such as toxic friends who feed on your emotions. Someone who tends to have low energy unintentionally replenishes the energy from someone else, such as you.
Ultimately, this can make it more difficult to get back on your feet when you’ve fallen into a negativity well. You don’t have the emotional strength to deal with the emotions you’re experiencing, and consequently, to break away from the most harmful ones.
As a result, you can feel drained and stuck into a spiral of negativity. Have you considered distance healing to fuel back your energy? Indeed, in the Qigong philosophy of health, emotional pains are connected to your chakras. When a chakra is blocked, the pain flows.
Are you eating yourself sad?
Finding the energy to push away negative emotions comes from the most natural of all places, and yet the most often overlooked when it comes to managing your mood; the food you eat. Indeed, did you know that your choice of meal could affect your happiness – and therefore make you more vulnerable to adverse feelings?
The first rule of a healthy diet is to ensure that your blood sugar levels remain steady – in other words, you need to eat regularly. Unstable blood sugar levels can dramatically affect your mood.
Additionally, it’s fair to say that junk food that is rich in fat and sugar might create a rush at first, but the drop when your blood sugar levels go back down can send you on an emotional rollercoaster. Focus instead on healthy proteins and vitamins to help your mental health.
Why should face your fears alone?
Facing harmful feelings on your own can be difficult. But, ultimately, there is no better way to cancel negative emotions than by experiencing positive and soothing feelings. Laughter is, by far, the best medicine when it comes to breaking free from a vicious circle of negativity. Indeed, laughing is not only healthy – in physically boosts your mood by increasing the count of happy hormones in your body –, but it’s the most effective defense against the negativity well.
However, not everyone has the ability to laugh at themselves. It’s a skill you can develop by teaching yourself not to take everything too seriously. Of course, you will at times fail. But you’d be better off laughing it off and carrying on with your normal day-to-day routine than dealing with feelings of shame, anger, and self-depreciation. As you do, you also tap into a new source of energy that you can activate whenever you need it.
Negativity creates anger and conflicts
When you can’t find the humor in a situation, it’s difficult to avoid angry reactions as a result of painful emotions. To go back to the bad hair day example, when you feel vulnerable, you’re more likely to get into fights with the people around you.
Picture a colleague casually commenting on your ponytail that day; you might snap back at them because of your feeling of insecurity. Anger is the most common answer when you feel weakened. But you can develop a strategy to get in touch with your anger and stop it from controlling your actions.
Indeed, people who attract conflicts tend to become isolated from their social circle, which makes it even more challenging to break out from the negativity routine.
You’ll never be like the others… because comparing is pointless
You need friends and relatives to help you escape from your negativity shackles. But too many individuals use their relationships with others as a way of comparing themselves, enhancing their feelings of self-depreciation.
It’s no wonder you feel so bad about your lousy ponytail; your colleague Susan always has such beautiful hair, yours looks silly in comparison. Stop comparing yourself to others. It doesn’t serve any purpose. More importantly, it’s an energy drain that leaves you more vulnerable.
We tend to let our relationships with others define us… Don’t!
You need people in your life to build yourself back up. However, sometimes, the people in your life can also drag you down when you choose to define yourself through others. It’s the case for couples, who share so much together that the individuals can forget they also exist on their own.
If the relationship ends, you feel empty inside, as if life were not possible without your other half. Remember to look after yourself and nurture your individual passions even in a happy relationship. It provides you with plenty of positive energy to assess your own strength and fight off negativity.
Negativity wells are everywhere. You might find yourself falling into a vicious circle against your will. Everything begins with one single negative thought. But don’t let the thought take over. Instead, focus on the positive energy in your life to stop the negative epidemic!