You may want to know how to get over a breakup fast because like me, you have probably gone from the throes of love to mind bending pain in one fell swoop. At that time, I would’ve sold my soul to make this pain go away. Love might just be the most maddening aspect of life, or at least that’s what Philip Roth said. And it’s hard to disagree: it can make you feel on top of the world, and also make you feel like you’ve gone twelve rounds with Mike Tyson.
Though it’s something we’d all like to avoid, the fact of the matter is that we’re all likely to experience heartbreak at least once in our lives — you might even say that it’s an important process to go through. Did you know that you can be a guy’s dream girl…I mean, you can literally check off every box on his “perfect woman” list…But if you mess up this one thing, he’ll drop you the second another option comes along?
But important or not, there’s no avoiding that it sucks. So how can you get over it? How do you know when you are ready to date again? We take a look at a few ways below that will help you heal fast.
Look After Yourself and Practice Self Care
You’ll want to hide away and curse the world when you’re heartbroken, and you should do that. But only for a little while. If it goes on too long, you’ll be dragged into a state of unhappiness that’ll be harder to get out of later on down the line. The worse you feel, the WORSE you will feel.
Even though you’ll be in emotional turmoil, be sure to look after yourself in the immediate weeks after heartbreak. That means eating well, exercising, avoiding excessive alcohol consumption, and so on — it’ll speed up the healing process.
Self talk is also important. Fall in love with the person you are, don’t let yourself go down the rabbit hole with talking trash about yourself. Only when you love yourself, will others be able to love you too.
“Nobody will protect you from your suffering. You can’t cry it away or eat it away or starve it away or walk it away or punch it away or even therapy it away. It’s just there, and you have to survive it. You have to endure it. You have to live through it and love it and move on and be better for it and run as far as you can in the direction of your best and happiest dreams across the bridge that was built by your own desire to heal.”
― Cheryl Strayed
Comfort in Friends
Your friends aren’t just there for when you’re on top of the world (if they are, they’re not your friends). When life feels terrible, be sure to surround yourself with people that love you in all your imperfect glory.
There’s nothing worse than sitting alone in a room, just wondering what you had and have now lost and this is not how to get over a breakup fast, just the opposite. Call up a friend, meet them for a coffee, and let them entertain you for a few hours. It’ll help to break up a day that would otherwise be filled with emotional anguish.
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Get Back in the Game
You’re going to need a little bit of time to feel like yourself again. But at some point or another, it’s recommended that you get back in the game. And by that, we mean dating. You’ll soon find that there really are plenty more fish in the sea.
If the world of dating apps scares you a little, start things slowly by chatting on the phone: sites like thechatlinenumbers.com can help to connect you with other people. Once you’re back in the game, it won’t be too long before you meet a partner who is even better for you than your ex.
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Enjoy the Solo Time
Of course, you can also look at spending some time all by yourself for a little while. Indeed, this is probably the best approach. You’ve been in a partnership for some time: why not look at getting to know yourself, and doing things that you like? There’ll be time for romantic relationships in the future.
For now, focus on you. Find a greater sense of purpose in life and you will be amazed how your physical and emotional health are connected. When you find that purpose, and put your heart into something that really fuels you, it reduces stress, improves coping, and promotes behaviors that increase health. People who have a personal life purpose will heal quicker and get over breakups easier than those who lack a purpose in life.
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Give it Time
Finally, give it time! It might not feel like it right now, but you will feel better in the future. Somewhere between your third Netflix binge watch marathon and re-reading all the texts you know you should have deleted, you start to wonder when the heartache will end. But how long do you really have to feel this way before you can really move on?
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Studies suggest that people start to feel better around three months post-breakup. However, the timeline is different for everyone and every relationship is different so keep in mind that it may in fact not be healthy to hold yourself to a specific recovery date. Just know that it will feel better in time and that this is just a stepping stone to something better.