So, you met a guy, and things seem to be clicking, in fact they seemed really great. But now he isn’t calling you back:( You might’ve even had what you thought was a fantastic date, but still no callback. This is something that has been happening since the beginning of phones and will, unfortunately, most likely continue until we are talking in holographic messages. And, while it is never fun when it happens, there is a right way to handle it.
The first thing you need to do, and maybe the toughest thing to do is to take a step back from the situation. This will allow you to clearly evaluate the situation, similar to how a scientist would observe their research.
The second thing you need to do is understand that what someone else does, doesn’t determine anything about you. Whether someone calls you back or not shouldn’t change who you are or how you feel about yourself. It’s about them, so don’t make it about you.
If you have both of those critical keys down, we can get into some reasons why he’s not calling you back. And while none of these are an exact science for your specific situation, maybe it will allow you to be better able to interpret what is going on specifically for you. Watch this for a better idea of what I’m talking about.
You May Not Have All of the Information
When evaluating a situation, it can be easy to come up with false assumptions about what is going on. This happens for a variety of different reasons, but the main one is usually because of a lack of information. One of the reasons why he may not be calling you back is because he has something else going on in his life. Don’t allow yourself to jump right to, “what did I do wrong?” There could be factors that you don’t even know about, and that is why he is not calling you back.
In situations like this, be patient and see how it plays out. Maybe his mom got sick, his dog died, he lost his job. Who knows. Ultimately, though, a healthy relationship starts with two people that are both equally ready to commit. So if he is dealing with other issues, it is best to allow him time and space to figure things out. It may not be what you think.
He is Worried About You Not Being Interested Back
Ya really, a LOT of guys are insecure. Sometimes the easiest way to avoid being hurt is to not put yourself out there in the first place. It is not something healthy to do, but, unfortunately, it is something that happens pretty regularly. If a guy is unsure of their feelings being reciprocated, they might be hesitant to put themselves out there with a call.
This is a fine line to walk because you don’t want to be the only one initiating, but if you don’t do anything, that might be the end of it. Each situation is different, but it may take you putting yourself out there a little bit more. It is also vital that you are reading the signs of whether a guy likes you or not. This will give you a better idea of whether you should put yourself out there more, or just let it be.
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There Wasn’t That Spark or Deeper Connection
If you have ever watched a romantic comedy before, you know there is always that scene where a magical spark happens between the guy and the girl. And, while that may not be exactly how it always happens in real life, there is still that sense of a wanting a deeper connection or spark. Sometimes neither person experiences it, sometimes both people experience it, and then sometimes only one of the two experiences it.
Ideally, you want both people on the same page, but that isn’t always how it happens. And, just how there are other guys that you might not have connected with on a date, he may not have felt that way with you, which is entirely okay. This doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with you; it just means that you two might not have connected the way he was looking to connect.
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In situations like this, understand that it isn’t always your fault, and it just didn’t work out. There is another great guy out there for you, so just be patient, confident with who you are, and be ready for when the time comes.
Serial Dater
With so many different online dating sites and apps out there, it can be very easy for both guys and girls to become serial daters. It becomes almost like speed dating or an episode of the bachelor/bachelorette. Instead of people taking the time to see where a connection goes, it is on to the next date.
Even if you might’ve not met on a dating app, there is still this mindset of dating for fun and not really looking for anything deeper. And, while this can be fun for the serial dater, they usually leave at least a few frustrated dates lying in their wake.
The best way to avoid this is to be clear about what both parties are looking for upfront. If this does happen to you, though, do your best to be understanding, and then maybe do a little more research the next time you meet someone you might be interested in. Maybe you dodged a bullet here, everything happens for a reason. And you certainly don’t want to date a narcissist.
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What If It Happens to You?
One of the most important things to remember about relationships, dating or otherwise, is that you can only control what you do. If you try to control other people, you are only going to end up making things worse for yourself and them. So, whether it is how you approach a date or how you respond to it afterward, just be yourself and stay confident in who you are.
The second thing to remember is, your worth is not tied up in someone else. As you can see from this article, there could be a variety of different reasons why a date might not call you back. But, even if the reason that someone doesn’t call you back is that they don’t like you, that is entirely okay. What is not okay is allowing someone else’s opinion of you to change how you see yourself.
We can always be growing, learning, and improving, but you shouldn’t change based on a potential relationship that didn’t work out. And, if it takes some time to find the right one, that is also okay. Just be patient, stay confident, be yourself, and it will all work out the way it is supposed to.
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Do you have any feedback on these tips or a personal story you would like to share? Please feel free to comment below! I am sure our other readers would love to benefit from your added feedback.